Thoughts

Who Has The Upper Hand In The Dating Market?

Which gender has the upper hand in the dating market? Well, each seem to think the other. Men bemoan women’s many options. Women bemoan men’s many options. So which is it?

Disclaimer: This post is focused around heterosexual relationships, but feel free to write me an awesome guest post on the dynamic of gay/ lesbian dating. 

It’s easy to see why men feel disheartened. I’ve been using various apps for a while now, and I’m in the unique position of having used them to meet men and women. I started by dating men, then I used Bumble BFF to make new female friends, then I got fed up with men and decided to switch Tinder to women only for a while (long story). Anyhow, the first thing I noticed was how much more difficult it is to get matches on the female side. When I’m swiping for men, I match most times. But with women, I hardly ever do. Once, I did a social experiment on Bumble where I tried swiping right to all and seeing what came up. For men, I had more matches than I knew what to do with within the first 30 seconds. For women, I didn’t get any matches. So it seems to be that women are much more picky with their swipes.

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Thoughts

Relationship, Shag, No

I have a friend, who for the sake of this post, we’ll call him Jim. Most of my friends met The One at 18 and are now in a long-term relationship, cohabiting, or married, so myself and Jim are one of the few single people left, and we often talk about dating.

He says that when he goes on a first date, within the first 10 minutes, he has allotted the girl into one of three categories: Relationship, Shag, or No.

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Thoughts

No. Cut Him Off.

So you match with this guy on Tinder. His chat is pretty decent, so you meet up for a drink. Instant connection. You go home with butterflies in your stomach. You fall into a pattern of seeing each other once of twice a week. It’s all going well. It’s like you’re going out, but neither of you has brought up “what you are” yet. After 2 months, you raise the question. He says he’s not really sure yet, and needs more time to decide. So you give him time. After 3 months, you raise the question again. He says he’s still not sure. You start to feel a little irked. I mean, it’s been 3 months. You’re sure. So why isn’t he? You wonder whether you should just sit out. Maybe 3 months is too soon. Maybe after 4, he’ll realize how great you are and make it official. Or maybe you should just enjoy it for what it is. You enjoy his company, it’s better than nothing, so maybe you should just carry on and try and ignore the niggling sense of dissatisfaction at the back of your mind?

No. Cut him off.  

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