When browsing certain corners of the internet, I often hear not altogether supportive comments about female media personalities.
They usually go along the lines of:
“She preaches about traditionalism but she’s not married!”
“If she was really conservative, she’d be pushing a stroller by the age of 22!”
“She can’t be traditional, she goes on dates/ goes to bars!”
But what does traditional really mean in today’s society? There’s no doubt that the culture has dramatically changed over the past couple of decades. So how do you apply conservative values in 2017?
In my opinion, it’s best to marry young. Less time dating and you get onto the property ladder quicker, what’s not to love? However, it’s not as simple as seek a husband and ye shall find. It used to be the case where people would date with the aim of marriage and thus settle down fairly young. Nowadays, we’re sold this idea where you must spend your youth sleeping around, and not settle down until later. There are some advantages to the modern era- I feel that in the olden days the fact that marriage was an expectation meant some getting pressured into marrying people they didn’t particularly want to marry or putting up with bad behaviour. The problem is though, that even if you shun promiscuity, doesn’t mean the men around you are going to do the same. With so many options for no-investment sex, its harder to find a man to commit to a relationship. And if you do, there’s the chance they may get FOMO and bail after a few years to live the single life. So it follows that that are probably quite a few people who would have been up for marrying young- but aren’t married yet. Perhaps we never will be. So we adapt accordingly.
Anyone who reads this blog wouldn’t be surprised to know that I’ve always been the hopeless romantic type. But I was raised reading Louise Mensch’s careers column in Glamour, so also envisioned myself as this high-flying career girl. I guess I was also brought up in a bit of a hedonistic culture so grew up with a reasonable dose of FOMO and the desire to seize every opportunity. So I studied like crazy for A-levels, went to university, and I’ve done my fair share of solo travel. Since broadening my mind by reading alternative media sources I’ve become more work-to-live and family-orientated. I want to find a partner. But that’s a facet of my life I don’t have a great deal of control over. I strive for self-improvement, but the name of the game means you can be doing everything right and just not meet anyone who’s a good enough fit. So I keep up my job, and continue to make exciting solo travel plans. Some say that finding The One should be your sole focus, but let’s face it, dating can get pretty draining sometimes. So it’s good to have other interests that allow you to switch off from the grind.
I have some traditional feminine pursuits. I’m not into random hook-ups or girls’ party holidays, and I enjoy cooking and creative pursuits. However, I had my fair share of nights out during my university days and I still enjoy the odd one now and again. Readers of this blog may not have envisioned me as a big drinker, but I’ve had my moments. I’m not proud of everything I’ve done under the influence, but I think going tee-total would have been hard, as nights out are how I made most of my friends, and therefore how I met guys. Alcohol seems to be a social lubricant- most of my friends who met the organic way kissed for the first time when drunk. My ideal way to date would be to meet a guy through friends, be friends first then start dating. But there aren’t guys who are my type in my social circle, so I have to go via sites and apps. Tinder isn’t renowned as a traditionalist haven, but really, how else would you meet people?
Society is changing, and so we adapt. It’s a balance. We hold on to some of our traditional values, yet embrace some modern pursuits. We can want a family, and still enjoy a night out at a bar from time to time. We can use Tinder… to look for a boyfriend. We are modern traditionalists.