Bad Dating Advice I’ve Heard

The problem with dating, is that it’s an art, not a science. It’s not a simple case of do XYZ and Q will happen. People are complicated, many-layered, unpredictable. You can do everything right and get it wrong, you can do everything wrong and get it right.

That said though, there are definitely things that you can do to up your odds, or at least, avoid wasting too much time on dickheads. But dating advice is not all given equal. Over the years, I’ve heard many pearls of wisdom, but there’s also been some absolutely atrocious dating advice pedaled out, some of which I ended up following, with disastrous consequences.

bad dating advice I've heard

Here is a collection of the worst dating advice I’ve heard.

“Don’t look for anyone”

Yeah, because if I go about my usual routine of going to work, coming home, then seeing friends I’ve known for 10 years at the weekends, I’m going to meet someone… how exactly? A man might, fall down from the sky perhaps?

“Just be yourself”

Great idea in theory, but if “being yourself” isn’t getting the results you want in your dating life it might be worth incorporating elements of more successful people into your personality/ approach.

“You just need to keep going for him!”

If you have indicated your interest, and your love interest does not respond with enthusiasm, move on immediately. If you follow no other dating advice you read, follow that.

“You’d look great with a pixie cut!”

I’m almost 5’9″ and have no boobs. I need long hair so people realise I’m a woman.

“Do a load of foreplay, then tell him you don’t have sex unless you’re in a committed relationship”

This one was from a “dating expert”.

“Lower your age limit to 30”

Yeah, because guys in their twenties are the ones who are most likely to be looking to settle down.

“Don’t have a committed relationship in your twenties!”

Yeah, because attractive men prefer older women.

“Don’t use Tinder, you’ll never find a relationship on there!”

Because it’s sooo easy to meet people in real life.

“Maybe if you slept with him it might develop into something more!”

Not saying that one night stands don’t occasionally develop into something more. However this tends to happen by accident. Every situation I’ve observed without fail, where someone has gone into a casual sexual encounter with the aim of making that person love them has backfired spectacularly.


What bad dating advice have you heard?



9 thoughts on “Bad Dating Advice I’ve Heard

  1. “If it’s meant to be, it will happen” – Worst fucking dating advice ever. What is it’s not meant to be? What if the man slams into my car with his and I end up falling in love with him for the rest of my life? Was THAT meant to be? Me being in a neckbrace for three weeks because I was waiting around for “Mr. Meant to Be?” I hate all clichés like that. Great post by the way!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Do a load of foreplay, then tell him you don’t have sex unless you’re in a committed relationship”

    This one was from a “dating expert”.

    Call me old-fashioned, but I’ve always seen emotional blackmail and using sex as a weapon as negative things in a relationship.

    How about the rule of three? Wait three days before calling etc. Utter crap.

    Here is a satirical post I wrote that might interest you 🙂


  3. My personal favourite piece of crap dating advice has got to be ‘When you want to get married badly enough, you’ll stop being so picky and just choose someone to make it work with’. Obviously I don’t want to get married badly enough as I haven’t yet decided to just ‘make it work’ with the first guy who asks…..


  4. Haha i’m also 5’9 and I have had short hair before, but now i’m a young adult I would just prefer normal length hair. In this day and age, I’m not Kim K and I can only hold on to certain aspects of femininity 😥


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